You don’t have to be in heaven to see the stars.

“They” say the early bird gets the worm…

I’d rather sleep in and have some pancakes.

Just because you are paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.

Really?  They call this integration?  If milk shakes were integrated like this, you would need a spoon AND a straw.

The floggings will continue until morale improves.

If you are a recruit, were you once a cruit?

Is this the second time in her adult life she is proud to be an American?

fun flies when you’re doing time

Some see the glass half full, others see it half empty.  I want to know who’s been drinking out of my glass.

How do television stations survive in non-election years?